97 Original Dad Jokes That Will Make You Groan and Laugh

Get ready for an amusing journey into the delightful world of dad humor with our collection of original dad jokes. These are the jokes that make you groan and chuckle in equal measure. Each joke is a unique blend of wit, humor, and a touch of silliness that epitomizes the essence of classic dad joke charm. Prepare for a wholesome chuckle fest!

1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
2. How do you organize a space party? You planet.
3. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired.
4. What’s a light year? The same as a regular year, but with fewer calories.
5. Why don’t eggs tell each other secrets? They could crack up.
6. I used to play piano by ear, now I use my hands.
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
8. I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, “You.
9. I don’t trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
10. If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, that would be a novel idea.
11. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
12. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
13. I would tell a joke about pizza, but it’s too cheesy.
14. Can February March? No, but April May.
15. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
17. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act nuts.
18. Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.
19. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
20. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
21. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
22. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
23. Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
24. I, for one, like Roman numerals.
25. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
26. I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson… He said, “But dad, your name is Brian.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
27. I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.
28. The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
29. Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? He made a mint.
30. I would tell you a joke about a bed, but it hasn’t been made yet.
31. I don’t trust these stairs because they’re always up to something.
32. Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, “What kind of music do you like?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
33. My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. We had some drinks, cool guy, wants to be a web developer.
34. I would tell a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
35. I used to be a baker, I kneaded the dough.
36. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
37. I had a dream I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted.
38. What do you call a man with no body and no nose? Nobody knows.
39. I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.
40. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho Cheese.
41. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere.
42. Why did the chicken go to the séance? To speak to the other side.
43. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems.
44. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
45. Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish.
46. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
47. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
48. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
49. Did you know I’m a professional at the floor? I lay down all day.
50. Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.
51. Why do we tell actors to “break a leg?” Because every play has a cast.
52. How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You look for fresh prints.
53. How does a duck buy lipstick? She just puts it on her bill.
54. I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.
55. If a child refuses to sleep during nap time, are they guilty of resisting a rest?
56. The first time I got a universal remote control I thought, “This changes everything.”
57. I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.
58. Why do melons have weddings? Because they cantaloupe.
59. Why couldn’t the green pepper practice archery? Because it didn’t habanero.
60. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.0
61. I would tell a time-travel joke, but you didn’t find it funny.
62. I’m terrified of elevators, so I’m going to start taking steps to avoid them.
63. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
64. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.
65. What’s the best way to watch a fishing tournament? Live stream.
66. I was going to tell a joke about infinity, but it didn’t have an ending.
67. I told my friend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
68. I have a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
69. What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
70. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. One said, “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead.”
71. I was going to tell an airplane joke, but it would just go over your head.
72. What do you call a pony with a cough? A little horse.
73. I was going to tell a joke about paper, but it’s tearable.
74. I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired for taking a couple of days off.
75. Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
76. What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee fish.
77. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
78. I told my wife I felt like a deck of cards, she said she’ll deal with me later.
79. I told my son I was named after Thomas Jefferson. He said, “But dad, your name is John.” I said, “I know, but I was named AFTER Thomas Jefferson.”
80. If you ever get cold, just stand in a corner. They’re usually 90 degrees.
81. I asked my wife if I was the only one she’s been with. She said, “Yes, the others were nines and tens.”
82. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
83. A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
84. I was going to tell a joke about pizza, but it’s too cheesy.
85. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
86. I’m not a big fan of stairs, they’re always up to something.
87. I told my friend that he should be more assertive. He said, “I guess…”
88. Why can’t a leopard hide? Because he’s always spotted.
89. I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
90. I could tell a joke about pizza, but it’s a little cheesy.
91. Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
92. What do you call a sketchy Italian neighborhood? The Spaghetto.
93. Why can’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It’s two tired.
94. Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
95. Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He’s all right now.
96. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
97. How do you make a tissue dance? You put a little boogie in it.

And that concludes our collection of original dad jokes, filled with groan-worthy punchlines and good-natured humor. We hope these jokes brought a smile to your face and reminded you of the joyful simplicity of a well-delivered dad joke. Keep coming back for more light-hearted entertainment, because nothing beats the joy of shared laughter.