70+ Heart-warming Valentine’s Day Jokes That Will Make Your Loved One Smile: Ultimate Collection

Add a dash of humor to your expressions of love with our collection of Valentine’s Day jokes. These sweet and funny quips are the perfect way to make your special someone laugh out loud. From punny lines to heart-warming jests, we’ve got all the laughter-filled love notes you need.

1. Why don’t oysters donate on Valentine’s Day? Because they’re shellfish!
2. What do you call a ghost’s Valentine? His boo!
3. Why did the girl bring a ladder to her Valentine’s date? She heard you have to fall in love.
4. Why do we love to tell Valentine’s Day puns? Because they’re the key to our heart.
5. What did the chef give his wife for Valentine’s Day? A “knead” for love!
6. Why did the phone break up with its charger? It said, “I can’t handle this long-distance relationship!”
7. What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day? Forget-me-nuts.
8. Why did the Valentine’s Day card go to jail? It was a heart-breaker.
9. Why did the calendar reject its Valentine’s Day date? It already had too many dates.
10. What do you call two birds in love? Tweet-hearts!
11. Why don’t skeletons fight on Valentine’s Day? They don’t have the heart for it.
12. Why did the computer go on a date for Valentine’s Day? It wanted to find a byte-mate.
13. What did the bee say to his Valentine? Honey, I’m pollen for you.
14. Why don’t scientists trust atoms on Valentine’s Day? Because they make up everything.
15. What did the one sheep say to the other? I love ewe.
16. Why was the computer cold on Valentine’s Day? It left its Windows open.
17. Why do burgers go on dates on Valentine’s Day? They don’t want to meat alone.
18. What’s the best part about Valentine’s Day? Half-priced chocolate the next day.
19. Why did the cucumber blush on Valentine’s Day? It saw the salad dressing.
20. What did the flower say to its Valentine? Our tulips should meet.
21. Why don’t vampires give each other Valentine’s Day cards? Because they’re not that vein.
22. Why was the math book sad on Valentine’s Day? It had too many problems.
23. What do farmers give their wives on Valentine’s Day? Hogs and kisses.
24. What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.
25. What did the bat say to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day? You’re totally batty about you.
26. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day? I’m stuck on you.
27. Why did the light bulb break up with the switch on Valentine’s Day? Because it was too on and off.
28. Why did the cookie cry on Valentine’s Day? Because its mom was a wafer too long.
29. Why did the elephant put on red sneakers for his Valentine’s date? He wanted to dress up trunk-y.
30. Why didn’t the watermelon want to marry the honeydew? It cantaloupe!

31. What do you call a very small valentine? A valentiny.
32. Why did the tomato turn red on Valentine’s Day? Because it saw the salad dressing.
33. Why do peppers make good valentines? Because they’re really hot.
34. Why was the broom late for his Valentine’s date? It over-swept!
35. What did the train say to his Valentine? I choo-choo-choose you.
36. Why did the donut go to the dentist on Valentine’s Day? It needed a filling for its hole.
37. Why did the melon jump into the lake on Valentine’s Day? It wanted to be a watermelon.
38. Why did the lemon break up with the lime on Valentine’s Day? It found out it was sour.
39. Why did the baker go broke on Valentine’s Day? Because he kneaded too much dough.
40. Why did the doctor give his heart to the nurse? Because she had patients.
41. Why don’t traffic lights ever go on a date for Valentine’s Day? They always change their mind at the last minute.
42. What did the cucumber say to the pickle on Valentine’s Day? You mean a great dill to me.
43. Why do single people go to the zoo on Valentine’s Day? Because it’s the only place where they can talk to the animals about being single.
44. Why did the carrot get an award on Valentine’s Day? Because it was outstanding in its field.
45. Why did the pencil break up with the paper on Valentine’s Day? It said, “It’s not you, it’s me-raser.”
46. What did the calculator say to the math book on Valentine’s Day? I can count on you.
47. Why did the ocean break up with the pond on Valentine’s Day? Because it said, “You’re too shallow for me.”
48. What did the cat say to its Valentine? You’re purr-fect for me.
49. Why do birds make the best Valentines? They’re tweet-hearts!
50. Why was the belt arrested on Valentine’s Day? It was holding up a pair of pants.
51. Why did the bicycle fall over on Valentine’s Day? It was two tired.
52. Why did the bank go on a date for Valentine’s Day? It had a lot of interest.
53. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill on Valentine’s Day? It ran out of juice.
54. What did the big flower say to the little flower on Valentine’s Day? Hi, bud!
55. What do you call a Valentine’s Day dinner for a group of sharks? A bite to eat.
56. Why do onions make terrible Valentines? They always make you cry.
57. Why did the gardener plant a light bulb on Valentine’s Day? He wanted to grow some bright ideas.
58. Why did the fire go out on a date for Valentine’s Day? It was looking for a spark.
59. Why did the plant stay at home on Valentine’s Day? It felt rooted to the spot.
60. What did the painter say to his crush on Valentine’s Day? I love hue.
61. What do you call a Valentine’s Day gift from a leprechaun? A pot of gold-diggers.
62. Why was the spider lonely on Valentine’s Day? Because it didn’t have a web-mate.
63. What did the hammer say to the nail on Valentine’s Day? You’re a real hit.
64. Why do painters fall in love on Valentine’s Day? Because they’re drawn together.
65. Why did the scarecrow win an award on Valentine’s Day? Because it was outstanding in its field.
66. What do you call a small Valentine’s Day gift? A token of my affection.
67. What did the balloon say to the pin on Valentine’s Day? You’re just my point!
68. Why did the shoe break up with the sock on Valentine’s Day? It said, “You’re too overbearing.”
69. Why did the snowman give his wife a hot water bottle on Valentine’s Day? Because he’s a melt at heart.
70. What did the book say to the page on Valentine’s Day? We’re on the same page.
71. Why did the clock get a Valentine’s Day card? Because time is love.

That wraps up our list of Valentine’s Day jokes! We hope these tickled your funny bone and added a touch of joy to your day of love. Remember, the heart that laughs is the heart that loves. Share these jokes and spread the love and laughter. Stay tuned for more hilarity and heart!