200 Funniest Jokes to Make Every Day a Laugh Riot

Welcome to a laughter marathon with our compilation of the 200 funniest jokes that are sure to induce hearty chuckles! Laughter is the best medicine, and we’ve prepared a hefty dose for you. From hilarious one-liners to amusing anecdotes, this is your ultimate treasure trove to brighten any day and fill it with uproarious laughter.

1. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
2. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
3. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
5. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She hugged me.
6. Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re afraid of the bass keys.
7. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
8. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
9. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
10. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
11. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
12. Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
13. I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
14. I, for one, like Roman numerals.
15. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
16. I used to be a baker… I couldn’t make enough dough.
17. I didn’t like my beard at first… Then it grew on me.
18. I wanted to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.
19. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
20. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I can’t put it down.
21. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
22. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
23. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
24. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
25. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
26. Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
27. My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing. I have to say I saw it coming. The signs were always there.
28. What’s a pepper that won’t leave you alone? Jalapeño business.
29. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
30. I would tell a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.

31. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
32. Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because B-shells are too small.
33. If you need an ark to save two of every animal, I Noah guy.
34. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
35. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
36. If a child refuses to take a nap, is he resisting a rest?
37. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
38. I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.
39. Why was the broom late? It over swept.
40. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
41. I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice.
42. Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? They just seem a bit shady.
43. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
44. How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience.
45. How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.
46. My ceiling isn’t the best… But it’s up there.
47. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
48. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
49. I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is going to happen, I can feel it.
50. I once told a joke about a broken pencil. Never mind, it’s pointless.
51. I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
52. I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
53. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
54. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
55. Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all its problems!
56. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus.
57. I was going to tell a time travel joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
58. I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
59. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
60. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
61. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
62. Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re afraid of the bass keys.
63. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
64. I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
65. A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke. But it’s alright, it was a soft drink.
66. Why did the M&M go to school? Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
67. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
68. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay, he woke up.
69. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
70. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
71. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs, they always take things literally.
72. What’s a ninja’s favorite type of shoes? Sneakers!
73. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
74. I hate Russian dolls…so full of themselves.
75. I’d tell a gym joke but it didn’t work out.
76. I’d tell a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.
77. I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.
78. What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
79. I have a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.
80. Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents.
81. I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know.
82. I would make a joke about procrastination, but I’ll do it later.
83. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down.
84. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
85. My fear of moving stairs is escalating.
86. I once entered a pun contest. I submitted ten because I thought at least one would win, but no pun in ten did.
87. I have a joke about deja vu, I have a joke about deja vu.
88. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.
89. I was going to make a joke about sodium, but Na.
90. If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $6.30 now.
91. What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.
92. I was addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
93. I don’t trust stairs because they’re always up to something.
94. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
95. I was going to share a vegetable joke but it’s corny.
96. I’m going on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
97. What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
98. I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
99. My friend drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
100. I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.
101. If I had a penny for every time I got distracted, I’d have a…
102. Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill? It ran out of juice.
103. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
104. I used to be a baker… I couldn’t make enough dough.
105. How does NASA organize a party? They planet.
106. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
107. I used to play the piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
108. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
109. My friend’s bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.
110. What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
111. I was going to tell a dead battery joke but it wouldn’t get a charge out of you.
112. My grandpa has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
113. How does a train eat? It goes chew chew.
114. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
115. I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
116. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
117. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
118. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
119. I would tell a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.
120. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
121. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
122. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
123. I don’t trust these stairs because they’re always up to something.
124. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
125. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired.
126. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… She hugged me.
127. Why don’t some fish play piano? They’re afraid of the bass keys.
128. I used to be a baker… I couldn’t make enough dough.
129. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems.
130. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
131. Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
132. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
133. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up.
134. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
135. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
136. Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.
137. I told my friend 10 jokes to make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did.
138. I, for one, like Roman numerals.
139. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
140. I used to be a baker… I couldn’t make enough dough.
141. I didn’t like my beard at first… Then it grew on me.
142. I wanted to tell a time-traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.
143. How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
144. I’m reading a book on the history of glue – I can’t put it down.
145. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up a pair of pants.
146. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
147. How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
148. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
149. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
150. Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast.
151. My friend was fired from his job at the road department for stealing. I have to say I saw it coming. The signs were always there.
152. What’s a pepper that won’t leave you alone? Jalapeño business.
153. Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired.
154. I would tell a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.
155. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
156. Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because B-shells are too small.
157. If you need an ark to save two of every animal, I Noah guy.
158. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
159. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
160. If a child refuses to take a nap, is he resisting a rest?
161. How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
162. I told my doctor I heard buzzing, but he said it’s just a bug going around.
163. Why was the broom late? It over swept.
164. Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
165. I used to be a personal trainer. Then I gave my too weak notice.
166. Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? They just seem a bit shady.
167. How did the barber win the race? He knew a shortcut.
168. My ceiling isn’t the best… But it’s up there.
169. Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
170. What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.
171. I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is going to happen, I can feel it.
172. I once told a joke about a broken pencil. Never mind, it’s pointless.
173. I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless.
174. I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.
175. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
176. What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hi, bud!
177. Why did the math book look so sad? Because of all its problems!
178. What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus.
179. I was going to tell a time travel joke, but you guys didn’t like it.
180. I started a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
181. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
182. I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
183. I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
184. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
185. I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
186. A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke. But it’s alright, it was a soft drink.
187. Why did the M&M go to school? Because he really wanted to be a Smartie!
188. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
189. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s okay, he woke up.
190. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
191. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it.
192. It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs, they always take things literally.
193. What’s a ninja’s favorite type of shoes? Sneakers!
194. Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two tired!
195. I hate Russian dolls…so full of themselves.
196. I’d tell a gym joke but it didn’t work out.
197. I’d tell a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.
198. I was going to make myself a belt made out of watches, but then I realized it would be a waist of time.
199. What’s the advantage of living in Switzerland? Well, the flag is a big plus.
200. I have a joke about construction, but I’m still working on it.

We hope you’ve enjoyed this joyful journey through the 200 funniest jokes, and they’ve brought some laughter to your day! Remember, sharing a good joke is like spreading happiness – it lightens the atmosphere and brings people together. So, don’t keep these jokes to yourself! Share them with friends, family, and anyone else who could use a good laugh. Here’s to more laughter and happier days ahead!