120 Birthday Puns to Crack You Up on Your Special Day

Get ready for some hearty laughter because we have compiled 150 birthday puns guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Celebrating another year of life should be filled with joy, fun, and of course, a good dose of humor! These puns, spanning from age-related quips to cake puns, will inject a delightful sense of mirth into any birthday celebration.

1. You know you’re getting old when you and your teeth no longer sleep together.
2. I told my friend she’d get a calculator for her birthday. You can count on it.
3. I was going to make you a rum cake for your birthday, but now it’s just a cake because I drank all the rum.
4. On my birthday, I woke up on the wrong side of the… decade.
5. Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
6. My birthdays are like government secrets: the more you know, the older I get.
7. Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe!
8. Your birthday is just the first day of another 365-day trip around the sun. Enjoy the ride.
9. Have some cake today, it’s somebody’s birthday somewhere!
10. You know you’re getting old when you have more candles on your cake than wrinkles on your face.
11. Time waits for no man, unless that man is delivering a pizza.
12. Birthday puns are wick-ed funny, but only when they’re lit.
13. When asked how old I am I reply, “I’m not old, I’m 25 plus shipping and handling.”
14. Age is like underwear, it creeps up on you.
15. Age is a matter of mind over matter; if you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
16. Every birthday is a gift. Every day is a gift.
17. Is it weird that my dog knows exactly when his birthday is? It’s like he has a sixth ‘sense’.
18. How do pickles celebrate their birthdays? They relish the moment.
19. I asked my friend to stop ageing. She refused to grow up.
20. For my birthday, I’m going to need a flamethrower to light up all my candles.
21. Birthday math problem: If you were born in 1970, how old would you be in 1980? This is where most people say 10. No, the correct answer is older.
22. Time may be a great healer, but it’s a terrible beautician.
23. If I got a penny for every year of your age, I’d be a millionaire.
24. For my next birthday, I want a fat bank account and a slim waistline. But the problem is the reverse always happens.
25. Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty!
26. When’s your birthday? “July.” Which day? “Every day.”
27. I remember when the Dead Sea was just feeling under the weather.
28. I’ve reached an age where my back goes out more than I do.
29. The secret to eternal youth is arrested development.
30. You’re only young once, but you can always be immature.
31. My wife still hasn’t told me what my birthday surprise is, but she got me to agree to be at home with the kids… Hmm.
32. I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
33. If things get better with age, then I’m approaching magnificent.
34. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.
35. Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!
36. I am a year older, but I refuse to be a year wiser.
37. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.
38. It took me 50 years to look this good!
39. Old enough to know better…young enough to still do it.
40. It’s my birthday week! Yea, I’m doing this now.
41. Another year older, none the wiser.
42. I wanted to have a party for your birthday, but the fire department wouldn’t give me a permit for the bonfire.
43. Age is just a number… and in your case a really high one.
44. I’ve reached an age where ‘happy hour’ is a nap.
45. They say that age is just a number. Yeah, right. Tell that to my knees.
46. Birthdays are like cheese. They stink more the older they get.
47. On your birthday, remember: don’t drink and tattoo.
48. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek on its birthday? Because it was always spotted.
49. When you’re my age, every day is a leap day.
50. They say love is more important than money but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

51. Why did the balloon go near the needle? It wanted to be a pop star.
52. If birthdays are so good for you, why do they kill you in the end?
53. I’ve decided that I’m not old, I’m 25 plus shipping and handling.
54. Why was the belt arrested on its birthday? It was holding up a pair of pants!
55. I believe in loyalty. When a woman gets to an age she likes, she should stick with it.
56. You are only young once, but you can be immature forever.
57. You’re not 40, you’re eighteen with 22 years of experience.
58. For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
59. You know you’re getting old when you bend down to tie your shoe and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
60. At my age, I’ve seen it all, done it all, heard it all… I just can’t remember it all.
61. You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’
62. There were a lot of famous people born on your birthday. Too bad you aren’t one.
63. If you’re feeling low, don’t despair. The sun has a sinking spell every night, but it comes back up every morning.
64. You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well pee while I’m here.”
65. Why don’t eggs celebrate their birthdays? Because they don’t want to get all scrambled up about their age.
66. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
67. Why don’t we ever celebrate Father Time’s birthday? Because he has too many to count!
68. Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
69. Age doesn’t make you forgetful: having too many stupid things to remember makes you forgetful.
70. It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. ‘Oh, I don’t know ,’ she said. ‘Just give me something with diamonds.’ That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.
71. I never forget my wife’s birthday. It’s usually the day after she reminds me about it.
72. Your secrets are safe with me… I wasn’t even listening.
73. With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.
74. Your age is not a number but a wine rating.
75. My memory is not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
76. I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.
77. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.
78. Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby.
79. You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
80. You know you’re old when you turn down the lights to save electricity instead of setting the mood.
81. I was going to give you something awesome for your birthday, but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.
82. It’s proven that at the age 41 you start to lose your memory. We can only hope!
83. The older you get, the better you get. Unless you’re a banana.
84. The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
85. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year.
86. What goes up and never comes down? Your age!
87. Birthdays are just finger posts on the road of getting old.
88. Your birthday is the perfect opportunity to remind you and to remind me to float you a loan.
89. On your birthday, let’s celebrate our past, our today and our future! I love my life with you!
90. What’s the best way to remember your wife’s birthday? Forget it once!
91. When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.
92. Just imagine the things you’d want to hear on your birthday and assume I said them.
93. They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.
94. I’m not going to make any age jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.
95. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
96. You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’
97. You know you’re old when you turn down the lights to save electricity instead of setting the mood.
98. You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelace and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
99. We’re going to need a bigger cake to fit all your candles.
100. You age like wine, you just keep getting better with age.
101. It’s OK to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I’ve already alerted the fire department.
102. You’re not getting older, just more distinguished.
103. On your birthday, a few wise words: smile while you still have teeth. Happy Birthday!
104. On your birthday, let’s celebrate our past, our today and our future! I love my life with you!
105. Another year older, but unfortunately none wiser.
106. You’re so old when you look at your birth certificate it said expired.
107. At least you’re not as old as you will be next year.
108. When I have a birthday I take the day off. But when my wife has a birthday, she takes a year or two off.
109. I remember when the Dead Sea was just feeling under the weather.
110. I wanted to give you the best birthday greeting ever…but this card was all I could afford. Happy Birthday!
111. You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
112. I always feel warm on your birthday because people don’t stop toasting you.
113. I wouldn’t say you’re old, you’ve just been young for longer than most of us.
114. Let’s have a birthday party, the champagne is on me. When do we start to celebrate?
115. Do you know why older men wear black socks with sandals? You’re one year closer to finding out. Happy birthday!
116. Time may be a great healer, but it’s a terrible beautician.
117. You’re not old until a teenager describes you as middle-aged.
118. You know you’re getting old when you have more candles on your cake than wrinkles on your face.
119. Just remember, once you’re over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
120. You know you are getting old when the candles on your birthday cake start to cost more than the cake itself.

And that’s a wrap on our list of 150 birthday puns that we hope have brought a smile to your face! Remember, nothing completes a birthday celebration quite like the gift of laughter. Whether you’re the birthday person or a well-wisher, these puns are sure to make any birthday a memorable and merry one. So, the next time you want to cheer up the birthday celebrant, pull out these puns and enjoy the fun!