170 Marine Jokes That Will Make Waves of Laughter

Prepare to sail into a sea of humor with our compilation of 20 marine jokes that will make waves of laughter! Whether you’re a seafarer, a marine enthusiast, or simply a fan of good humor, these naval-themed quips promise to add a splash of fun to your day.

1. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!
2. Why don’t fish play basketball? They’re afraid of the net.
3. What’s a shark’s favorite sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish.
4. How do sea creatures communicate? They use shell-ular phones.
5. Why did the shark cross the reef? To get to the other tide.
6. What’s a sea monster’s favorite meal? Fish and ships!
7. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
8. How does an octopus go to war? Well-armed!
9. Why do crabs never share? Because they’re shellfish.
10. What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him? “I didn’t do it on porpoise!”
11. Why don’t whales use Facebook? They can’t keep up with the current events.
12. Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
13. How does a squid go into battle? Well armed.
14. Why are there fish at the bottom of the ocean? Because they dropped out of school!
15. Why are seabirds so lucky in love? They always have a gull friend.
16. Why are oysters so quiet? They clam up!
17. Why was the sand at the beach wet? The sea-weed.
18. What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby? “Rock-a-buoy baby.”
19. How does a shark greet a fish? “Pleased to eat you!”
20. How do marine biologists communicate underwater? They just wave!
21. Why don’t seahorses ever get lost? They use sand maps!
22. Why was the fish blushing? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom.
23. Why do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales!
24. What did the seaweed say to the sea? “Stop waving, you’re making me sea-sick!”
25. Why was the lobster not good at sharing? Because it was a little shellfish.
26. How does a dolphin feel when it’s lost? It can’t find its porpoise.
27. Why don’t fish play hide and seek? Because they always get caught hook, line and sinker!
28. What did the mackerel say to the shrimp? “Don’t be such a beach.”
29. How do you cut the sea in half? With a sea-saw!
30. Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they have their own scales!
31. What does a mermaid use to call her friends? A shell-phone!
32. Why don’t fish play tennis? They’re afraid of nets.
33. How do oysters call their friends? On shell-phones.
34. What do fish use for money? Sand dollars.
35. Why did the lobster blush? Because the sea weed.
36. How do you make a fish laugh? Tell a whale of a tale.
37. What do you call a fish that wears a crown? A king fish!
38. What do you call a shark that can sing? A shark-uso!
39. What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? Autotuna!
40. Why don’t schools of fish ever go on field trips? They might end up in a different school!
41. Why do dolphins never feel lost? They always find their porpoise.
42. What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish? This tastes a little funny.”
43. What do you call a fish that knows addition? An Octo-plus!
44. What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? You might think it’s R, but it’s the C they love!
45. How do you make an Octopus laugh? With ten-tickles!
46. Why did the fish stay home from school? He was feeling a little green around the gills.
47. Why did the seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay, it would be a bay-gull!
48. What kind of music do whales listen to? Orca-stral!
49. Why do mermaids always know the score? They keep up with the current events.
50. How does the ocean say hello? It waves!
51. Why do fish live in schools? Because they can’t afford tuition for universities!
52. What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can’t refuse? The Codfather!
53. What kind of fish perform at a circus? Clown fish!
54. What do you call a fish that destroys Japan? Cod-zilla!
55. Why did the crab go to jail? Because he was caught pinching!
56. What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas? Santa Jaws!
57. Why do fish swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
58. What’s the difference between a fish and a piano? You can’t tuna fish!
59. What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? “Dam!”
60. How do you make an octopus giggle ten times? You give it ten tickles.
61. Why did the fish get bad grades? Because it was below sea level.
62. What do you call a fish that only cares about itself? Selfish.
63. What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Indian Ocean? “Stop being so Pacific.”
64. What’s a shark’s favorite sci-fi show? Shark Trek!
65. Why did the starfish blush? Because the sea saw its bottom!
66. Why was the fish at the bank? He wanted to check his current balance.
67. Why don’t whales like to talk in the morning? They don’t want to blubber!
68. What kind of photographs do turtles take? Shell-fies.
69. How do clams call their friends? On shell-phones.
70. What is a fish’s favorite country? Finland!
71. What do you call a fish with a crown? A royal catch.
72. What is the best way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it at you!
73. Why did the fish go to Hollywood? He wanted to be a starfish!
74. What do you call a fight between film actors? Starfish wars!
75. What did the fish say to the wall? “Dam!”
76. Why did the whale cross the ocean? To get to the other tide!
77. Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the seaweed!
78. How do you communicate with a fish? Drop it a line!
79. What do you get if you cross a banker with a fish? A loan shark!
80. How do you make an octopus giggle? With ten-tickles!
81. What do you call a smelly fish? A stink ray!
82. What kind of music should you listen to while fishing? Something catchy!
83. Why are fish such good musicians? They’ve got the scales and the bass!
84. What do you call a fish that can play piano? A piano tuna!
85. What do you get when you cross a banker with a fish? A Loan Shark.
86. What do fish and maps have in common? Both have scales!
87. Why are fish never good tennis players? They have a tendency to get caught in the net.
88. What isa shark’s favorite Bible story? Jonah and the Whale!
89. What’s a fish’s worst day? Fry-day.
90. Why don’t fish play football? They’re afraid of the net!
91. How do you stop a fish from smelling? Cut off its nose!
92. How much does the ocean pay to have its floors cleaned? Nothing, it’s on the house!
93. How do shellfish get to the hospital? In a clambulance!
94. Why was the sand at the beach wet? Because the sea weed!
95. Why do fish never know their weight? They have scales, but they just don’t use them!
96. What kind of hair do oceans have? Wavy!
97. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh!
98. Why did the crab never share? Because he’s shellfish!
99. What does a fish take to stay healthy? Vitamin sea!
100. What is a shark’s favorite kind of sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!
101. Why don’t fish play basketball? They’re afraid of the net!
102. What do you get when you cross a fishing lure with a gym sock? A hook, line, and stinker!
103. What’s a shark’s favorite hobby? Anything he can sink his teeth into!
104. What kind of music do fish listen to? Something catchy!
105. How do you tune a fish? Adjust its scales!
106. Why did the fish always know what was happening? He kept up with the current news!
107. How do sea monsters count? Octo-plus!
108. Why do whales like to tell jokes? Because they got the blubber to make them wobble!
109. What do you call a magic fish? A Trouter-cadabra!
110. What is a fish’s favorite game? Salmon says!
111. What’s the best way to catch a shark? Swim faster than your friends!
112. Why don’t fish like fast food? Because it’s hard to catch!
113. What do you call a fish that can perform surgeries? A sturgeon!
114. How do you keep a fish from smelling? Plug its nose!
115. What do fish use to organize their schools? Class-tuna-tion!
116. What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, it just waved!
117. What’s a mermaid’s favorite mode of transportation? A shell-icopter!
118. Why don’t fish ever get lost at sea? Because they always follow the school traffic rules!
119. Why do fish always know how they’re feeling? They have constant access to the school nurse!
120. What do you call a fish that works in an office? A clerk-fish!
121. Why did the fish study business? He wanted to become a shark!
122. What do fish listen to while swimming? The current news!
123. What did the fish do when his piano sounded off key? He called the piano tuna!
124. What does a fish use to keep track of time? A water clock!
125. Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because B-shells are too small and D-shells are too big!
126. What do you call a fish magician? A Trouter-cadabra!
127. Why don’t fish like computers? They’re scared of the net!
128. What do fish use for money? Sand dollars!
129. How do you make a fish laugh? Tell a whale of a joke!
130. What’s the best way to talk to a fish? Drop it a line!
131. What kind of fish goes best with peanut butter? Jellyfish!
132. Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish!
133. Why do fish swim in schools? Because they can’t walk!
134. What does a mermaid use to call her friends? A shell phone!
135. Why did the crab cross the road? To get to the other tide!
136. What do you call a fish that won’t be quiet? A big-mouthed bass!
137. How does a group of dolphins make a decision? They flipper coin!
138. Why did the lobster turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
139. Why do fish avoid the computer? They’re scared of the net!
140. What do you call a fish that knows many languages? A polyglot fish!
141. How do you communicate with a fish? You drop them a line!
142. What did the clam do on his birthday? He shell-ebrated!
143. What did one tide pool say to the other tide pool? Show me your mussels!
144. What do you call a dangerous fish who drinks too much? A beer-a-cuda!
145. What do you call a fish with a crown? The king of the sea!
146. What kind of fish is famous? A star fish!
147. What’s a fish’s favorite show? Whale of fortune!
148. Why did the fish go to school? To improve its schooling!
149. Why did the fish cross the road? To get to the other tide!
150. What do fish and music have in common? Both have scales!
151. What does the pope eat during lent? Holy mackerel!
152. What do you call a fish with no tail? A one-eyed grape!
153. How do you tell the gender of a fish? Drop it in water. If it sinks, it’s a girl fish. If it floats, it’s a buoy!
154. What did the fish say when it ran into a wall? Dam!
155. What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks!
156. Why don’t fish like to watch basketball? They get too nervous around the net!
157. What do you call a fish that can fix things? A hammerhead shark!
158. Why don’t fish pass their exams? Because they work below C-level!
159. What do fish smoke? Seaweed!
160. How do fish get high? Seaweed!
161. What’s a fish’s favorite place to visit? New York, it’s quite a catch!
162. What’s a fish’s favorite note? The sea note!
163. Why are fish such bad tennis players? They’re afraid of the net!
164. What did the fish do when it saw a hook? It dropped its line!
165. What do you call a lazy fish? A flounder!
166. Why are fish always eating? They just can’t get enough seafood!
167. What do you call a fish with a crown? King fish!
168. What’s a fish’s favorite kind of music? Anything with a good bass line!
169. What did one fish say to the other? Keep your mouth shut and you won’t get caught!
170. What’s the easiest way to catch a fish? Have someone throw it at you!

We hope you’ve enjoyed these marine jokes and they’ve set your laughter afloat! Just like a journey at sea, humor brings joy and unexpected delights. Stay tuned for more comedy content that entertains, amuses, and navigates through the sea of life with a smile.